So today I didn’t go to school… I didn’t ditch, I was actually ill this morning, so my mum told me to stay home.
But today is my chemistry lessons for the week, and I was so hesitant to stay home or not. Luckily a friend was able to send me the work, but I just feel so behind now! Tomorrow I’ll go in, see the teacher and get all the notes I need, but right now I feel so behind! And I know it’s not a HUGE deal, but it’s worrying me because I don’t want to constant be behind. I know that I can’t predict how the school year is going to go, and I know what I won’t ALWAYS be behind, it’s just that right now I feel like no one else at my school is saying that they feel the same… Hopefully if I get more organised this month, like I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I can stay on top of my work. I don’t care whether I have to work at lunch, or break, I just want to be able to stay on top of my work and be able to relax in the evenings.
Am I Failing…? Today is the day that we got out tests back from Chemistry, and obviously I wasn’t there… so there is another thing that I just DON’T know about! And I just want to know what I got… but I don’t want to know as well… I guess I’m just worried about finding out I did badly and everyone else did really well. And I shouldn’t compare myself to everyone else in my class, but I think it’s impossible not to! I think that we’re always comparing ourselves to other people, and we need to stop, but it’s hard to be confident and so strongly sure of yourself now, with all the pressure etc…
Personally, I hate being late, behind, and not up to scratch. And that’s how I’m feeling now. And it driving me mad. I always try and put in 200% in my work, which stresses me out as I always do too much work and all my homeworks take 2x as long! Obviously the increase in homework has hit everyone hard, but I really don’t like it when the people who put literally no effort in complain about the work load, I feel like I’m boiling because I just want to tell them that they put no effort in, but it’s rude do I don’t. Which just stresses me out!
And now I’m getting really stressed out again so I’m going to stop now. Sorry for the off-load again, I’m posting way too many of these posts, sorry again.