Results.

We’re getting test results back, and despite getting 97% on a History exam, they gave me a Grade 6, which is equivalent to a B in old grades. This is because my target is a 6, and therefore, I have to prove not once, but 3 more times that I am capable of achieving a higher grade than 6.

Of course, this is understandable, but does the fact that I got 97% on a test that I studied so long for not prove that I’m capable of getting above a 6? I got an 8 (97%/A*). Does that not show that I should have not even got a 7? Should I really be limited by my target grade? How come they aren’t letting me exceed it? Two other people had the same mark as me and got the 8. We all dropped one mark of the same question yet they get two marks higher than me. The guy has a target of a 7, yet, he was still awarded the 8. What makes me not good enough to get an 8, too?

The teacher wrote on my paper “see me about grade”. This is when she explained that I couldn’t possibly get an 8, as I wasn’t good enough on my last test to have my target moved up to a 7 to enable me to get an 8 on this test. They are basically limiting me from showing ANY progress on my report (which are given out tomorrow) and make it seem like I’m not achieving anything.

And this lack of evidence that I’m not making progress means that my parents don’t believe it either and think that I’m doing shit all at school. Despite what EVERYONE says, they want me to get A* in everything like my sister did. I see their disappointment when I don’t get an 8 or 9 (A*/A**). For example, I got a 7 on one English test, and an 8 on the other, and when I said that I got a 7 on one, I could literally see my mother’s face drop and she said: “Well, that leaves room for improvement.”

Prior to getting my grade back, I’d had a careers meeting about what to take at college, where I’d said how much I liked history, despite finding it a challenge sometimes and how I’m thinking of studying it further (i.e. at college,) and to hear that I “wasn’t good enough” was so horrible. It’s like she was saying, “Don’t even bother thinking about taking this at college, you won’t do well”. Now, that just makes me question everything. What if, despite doing well on some tests for subjects that I want to take at college, I don’t do well in them and then end up with shit A levels?

So now, I dread getting my results back, going to parents evening on Thursday, where my mum will be told every single grade that I get, and hear from my teachers how I’m not good enough. And then, on the way home, my mother will repeat this in her own way, without saying the words “not good enough”, but find 100 ways to say it anyway.

And in half term, when I see my dad, he’ll also say how my science grades aren’t good enough, and how I should focus more during science and maths lessons despite getting 7/A*, and make them my priorities over subjects that I love, like graphics. He’ll tell me over and over again that I need to get better grades to pursue high-pay jobs, like engineering, even if that isn’t what I want to do when I’m older.

I know that it’s all a while off, and I have time to improve, and I’m only in year 10, but it just sucks. I think I’m making a bigger deal of this than I need to because of other things that are happening, which I really want to avoid at the moment. I don’t know.

Lu

 

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20 thoughts on “Results.

  1. I’m wishing you all the best! To get 97% is incredible 🙂 Before I chose my A Levels, my dad too was pushing me to do the sciences, but I just dug my heels in and now I’m doing what I love – and that’s the best advice I can give! Hoping that things will improve for you x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. First of all, try and be proud of yourself for what you achieved: 97% is absolutely fantastic! School grading systems are unfair, and aren’t very good at accurately reflecting effort or achievement; like you, I found that out the hard way. Still, when it comes down to it, your GCSEs aren’t the be all and end all of everything, and regardless, if you get 97% in your GCSE exam, you will get a very high grade, regardless of your in-school targets. I know it’s difficult, but try and believe in yourself: you are amazing 🙂 X

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah… neither do I. Basically, for this test:
      98%+ = 9 = A++
      90%-98% = 8 = A+
      And it continues through 7-1 and A-U. It’s very confusing.
      She just wouldn’t grant me the A+ equivalent like everyone else..

      Like

  3. I can tell from reading the comments that everyone hates the new grading system! I hate it too, I understand it but I just preferred A*-U grades! Mainly because everyone understands those and secondly because an A* sounds wayy better than a 9, even though they mean the same thing!😂
    Anyway, I feel for you big time! Just prove them all wrong in a couple years time when you ace your GCSE’S!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You have all the time in the world ❤ Never apologize or feel bad for working hard, no matter the outcome. Be confident, do your absolute best, and be proud of your effort.

    And if you love graphics, make time for those studies too… in or out of school. Your parents should respond to your passion, just show them your dedication! I hope you move forward and do great things ❤❤

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ugh, predicted grades and reports are the worst, especially when the effort you have been making is not reflected in the report grade. I always found it hard when I didn’t see my grade go up, but if you can see that you’ve been making progress that’s the best sign that you’re doing okay. I mean, with 97% you’re already doing amazingly, well done! 🙂

    Also, how rude of them to say not to do a subject you enjoy for A level?!? At the end of the day, it is your life, and your life only- it is SO important to study something you enjoy. If you hate a subject you will not want to progress in it at all, which will just make you feel worse in college/sixth form. Although it is hard not to listen to what your parents say, it is important to take your own goals and your own happiness into account. The older I get, the more I want to stress this to people, as I was so concerned with getting the best grades and going to the best uni possible, whereas now I find it is more about finding what you love.
    P.S. High-paid jobs are worth nothing if you hate working there!

    Sorry, rather than giving a lot of advice I seem to have ranted a bit. The older I get the stronger I feel about this subject, sorry 😛 GCSEs have changed a little since I did mine, but it does sound like you are doing really well. Focus on the subjects you want to do in A level an beyond, and you have so much time to prove everyone wrong! I’m here if you need to rant/talk it over with someone though! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you! Yes, I’m trying not to use my report as I know that I did make progress. I know, I found it so rude!! I’m trying to make my own decisions and be more independent, and I’m so annoyed that I let people sway my movements still. I just want to do what I want, but I feel this need to do what other people want than what I want. Like i need approval. Which is crazy!

      I’m planning to try focus on what I want, study what I want.

      No worries! I love having your input. Thank you so much

      Liked by 1 person

  6. That’s crazy! I am in year 11, and I am also taking history and I’ve applied to study it at A level. On my first mock exam in year 10 I got a B, which would now be a 6 in the new grades, but then a few months later we did another exam and I got an A* and my prediction was automatically moved up! I cannot believe they are not allowing you to progress, but just remember that your predicted grade will not change your real GCSE result. If you take your GCSE and get the grade you are truly working at you can prove them wrong! Don’t give up hope, keep on working and believe me it will all turn out right in the end, and if you want to study it at uni there is no reason you can’t!

    Like

    1. Yeah, it’s all so odd! WOW, though, that’s amazing! Well done! They’re finally considering moving my target grades up etc, but are now considering moving ALL of my target grades up for year 11 and also my predicted. Whatever I get in the exam wont’t be influenced by my predicted or target grade and I’m trying to remember that 🙂
      Thank you so much for saying that and keeping my hopes up ❤ 🙂 x

      Liked by 1 person

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