The thing about being naive is that you don’t fully realise it until it’s midnight and you’re crying your fucking eyes out like a pathetic excuse of a human.
Well done, you’ve successfully tricked yourself into thinking jolly things for once and now feel like your heart is about to be broken.
And you think that time, and time again, all through your fucking miserable life, you’ve been this pathetic, naive, little shit an for feel even more pathetic for not realising it all before.
And the fact that you just want to be happy seems even more pathetic, unrealistic and naïve. And all you think is, “when the fuck am I not going to feel like a broken piece of shit?” And you hope, and you hope that it’ll be sometime soon. Which is being naive again. But you know that it really fucking won’t be okay soon, and that’s the only thing that you’re not being fucking pathetic and naive about in your stupid little fucking life.
And the only thing I’m nor being naive about is the fact that no one can tell me I’m not this pathetic thing and I’m not deluded enough to believe them.
I’m so done with being this pathetic excuse of a human being, I just want out. I want to stop, and just be this emotionless human because that is way fucking better than feeling like your heart of caving in on you and it’s just going to break entirely into a thousand little pieces, and you’re naive enough to think that maybe for a second, talking about things will make it all better.
When it really fucking won’t.
It just makes you feel even more pathetic. That you thought voicing your emotions would solve things. It won’t. It only brings sympathy and makes you more and more fucking pathetic.
And that’s the thing about being naive. It makes you feel like a literal human failure. Too many emotions swarm over you when you realise how stupid and pathetic you are for being do fucking naive.
Why the fuck am I so naive?
And that’s the thing about being naive, I can’t even help it.