insecurities.

I haven’t written a post like this in a while.

The comment that my mother made only made the feeling that I’m falling apart again stronger.

It wasn’t something new. It was a reoccurrence of something that I thought had gone away. The comments of my weight. “You’ve lost weight again Luce,” and when I tried to say something, “I’m not saying it’s a bad thing— you’ve lost weight.”

I’d had these comments since I was 12. It wasn’t new. And the anxiety about my weight had started even before then. And my mother knows this. And my mum knows that. But she doesn’t know that every time she says something about it, it makes me feel awful.

Does she think that I didn’t look okay before? That I needed to lose weight before? I just hate being so insecure about my weight. And every time that I get okay with it, there’s something to knock me back, a comment, a look. Or something hits another insecurity.

why can’t I just be okay with myself.

sometimes I feel like I’m going to fall apart, and for good this time.

I’m so sick of feeling like a wreck. And I just don’t even know why sometimes.

19 thoughts on “insecurities.”

  1. Oh Babe. I’m sorry that this is a struggle in your life. I’ve dealt with Anorexia for over 5 years and let me be honest, you don’t have to be okay. It’s okay to talk to your mom and tell her that these comments bother you and that you’re struggling. Yeah, it’s hard as hell, but no one will think you’re weak for reaching out.

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  2. You’re beautiful darling. Just from following your blog and reading your posts I want to tell you how admirable it is for you to share your insecurities and thoughts with your readers. I understand whole heartedly how you could feel, having dealt with such comments as this. I have been there myself and still find myself lost at times with all the pressure and media surrounding the thought that beauty is determined by weight.
    I encourage you (I know, easier said than done) to make light of the beauty in your heart and your writing. Life is filled with possibilities and different perspectives and perceptions of beauty, what is thin, and what is okay.
    Hang in there buttercup! ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Stay strong. You don’t need to let your weight define you, or let peoples comments make you feel bad. I may not know you in real life, but I can tell by the passion you have about books that you are a beautiful person. I am so grateful that you decided to open up about your insecurities. You are so brave.

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    1. Thank you so much, you’re so kind. I think that sometimes in the blogging community it’s easy to forget that we are all human and we don’t have to always be 100% okay, and its better to just be real sometimes. Thank you for being here xx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. That must be really hard for you. A lot of my relatives often say the same things to me and it gets really frustrating because I get sick of hearing them comment on my body. It takes time to be really secure about yourself and love your body but I’m sure you’ll get there! Because really no matter what anyone says, as long as you’re comfortable and happy as how you are, no one else’s opinion matters! Hope you feel better soon!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, that means loads ❤ I’m sorry for everything that you’ve gone through too, and if you ever need to talk, I’m here. I think I’m at that stage in my life where I need to learn to be okay with who I am now. Thank you for your advice xx

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  5. hey don’t worry, it will all work out in the end ❤
    I’ve had a lot of insecurities too (still do) but I just try to distract myself by doing things I love.
    Hope this helped?
    xx
    Em

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I hate reading stuff like this- when people put you down (even unintentionally) it’s just awful, and comments like that are often the worst, they niggle at your insecurities.

    Everyone has these little insecurities about themselves that people sometimes prey on because it seems to make themselves feel more powerful. The important thing is that you accept yourself as yourself, and if other people can’t take that, then they’re frankly not worth it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your words, they’re really powerful and reminded me that it doesn’t matter what other people think if me, as long as I like who I am. I think that I need to learn to be okay and happy with who I am, and your words, as well as everyone else’s, has really helped me remember that. Thank you ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Any time! I need reminding of the same thing sometimes, especially when people seem to think that, as a teen, I have to go out drinking and doing what others do, when that is not me! No problem, do what you want to do and be happy with yourself always 🙂 ❤

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