HOW TO RECOMMEND BOOKS THE ‘IT’S LU AGAIN’ WAY FT. BRIBERY + THREATS AND OTHER SCARY METHODS.

I FORCE PEOPLE TO READ BOOKS IN A FRIENDLY WAY. IT’S ENTIRELY FOR THIER BENEFIT. (ha no).

The school term may have begun for some you, or is a looming presence in your not-so-distant future, BUT I went back to school today. URGH.

And with school comes people, and with people comes friends, and with friends comes the opportunity to get them to read your faves from the summer. AND AN INTROVERTS WORST NIGHTMARE.

And what better than a post on how to do so?*

*Don’t answer that. This is probably not going to be very helpful.

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BRIBE WITH CAKE OR OTHER SWEET FOODS. CAKE IS ALWAYS BEST. 

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Who wouldn’t want cake? I personally think that this is a GREAT choice.

My friends would read 10 books if it meant they got cake.

Are your friends not like this?

DO YOUR FRIENDS NOT LIKE CAKE? WHAT’S WRONG WITH THEM. 

I’m not telling you to get new friends . . . but you should think abut it.

On a more serious note. Who dislikes cake? JOKING. I’M NOT.

I would read a book in exchange for cake. Wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t you?!?

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THE TALK-ABOUT-IT-24/7-METHOD WHERE YOU TALK ABOUT IT NON-STOP UNTIL THEY READ IT. 

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BUG THEM CONSTANTLY.

This would TOTALLY work for me if I wasn’t already a book worm in some crazy upside-down, inside-out parallel universe. If someone was yapping an about it I would either, 1) slap them (gently) and tell them to shush, 2) stop being friends with them, or, 3) GET IT OVER AND DO WHAT THEY SO THAT THEY SHUT THE HELL UP.

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There’s a chance it will work. AND WE MUST TAKE IT, SOLDIERS.*

I talk about books on here 24/7 and sometimes people say “omg yeah I need to read this book” or something and say that a miracle occurred and what I wrote in a review made them want to read the book *HEART EXPLODES* and it genuinely makes me so incredibly happy when someone says that. SO CLEARLY TALKING ABOUT BOOKS 24/7 WORKS. 

*just what… is this.

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THREATEN WITH KNIVES.

It’s a dangerous approach. But you can’t deny it would be effective.

IT WOULD

SOLDIERS! CHOOSE YOUR WEAPONS:

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Now my search history looks really dodgy. Well. . . anyones would when you type “knives” into google and then click on the  “badass” category.

If your friends refuse yo read your fave books from the summer just take one of these out of your coat** all gangster-like and give them a little peep of that shiny blade and BAM they’ll read that book for sure!

**Maybe don’t carry knives in public. But you never know when you might need one to cut your pomegranate or biltong, or apple so. . .

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FORCE THEM TO READ IT.

Literally hold you book in front of them and turn the pages for them and everything. OR READ THE BOOK TO THEM. Give them no choice mwahahahahaha now they must read it mwahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa *evil laugh echoes*

Just think about how great your biceps would get???? Damn, dem muscles!! It would be highly rewarding for you, and the person you’re trying to get to read the book. Because 1) they would be blessed but the book 2) you would become ripped 3) the world would be happy 4) you wouldn’t have to use knives.

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This is a great suggestion if all the others didn’t work.

EVIL ME: BUT THE KNIVES WOULD WORK!!!! I PROMISE THEY WOULD WORK!!!

It would take AGES, but it would work eventually.

EVIL ME: Knives would have made it a looooottt quicker. Just saying. WHY DOES NO ONE LISTEN TO ME???????????? IM SANE!!!!!! 

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ASK REALLY NICELY.

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PLEASE????????

PAHAHAH ASKING NICELY WHAT IS THIS

Not going to lie. This is maybe the only logical suggestion here????? NO. I MUST NOT DOUBT THE OTHERS.

I think that asking nicely is just. . . FOR AMATEURS. You’re basically asking someone if you can do them a MASSIVE FAVOUR BY MAKING ASKING THEM TO READ A GREAT BOOK.

This would work. They may “nicely” say no, *swiftly takes out 568275 knives and threatens*

Yep. This wouldn’t work*.

*the knives wound though.

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HUG THEM UNTIL THEY READ IT SO YOU LET GO.

tumblr_m44uj19vsl1qcoa6sAgain. this would work brilliantly.

They would literally have to agree for you to let go. And people generally aren’t as huggy as I am so they probably don’t want to be hugged for more than a few hours/days without a break***

However. . .  if they don’t start reading it pretty soon after. . . *takes out knives* hug them again. For longer this time. 

***I knowwww they’re soooooo weird.

chat with me

Do you recommend books to your friends? Do they read? What are your methods? 

LUUUUUUUUU 

 

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23 thoughts on “HOW TO RECOMMEND BOOKS THE ‘IT’S LU AGAIN’ WAY FT. BRIBERY + THREATS AND OTHER SCARY METHODS.

  1. Ahah oh I loved this post so, so much. I basically don’t recommend books to people in real life because…well I read in English and most people in my country just, don’t; Except for my sister, and she knows she has to read ALL THE BOOKS I recommend to her, OR ELSE, ahah. When it comes to recommending books to other bloggers and people online, I have a pretty easy method which is to basically shove the book in their faces and remind them every two second that they need to read it so we can fangirl about it together, hahha. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw thank you thank you thank youuuuuuuuuu!! I WISHHHHH that my sister read all the books that I recommended her!!!!!!!! Gah. Yes, with people online IT’S WAY EASIER to just SHOVE THE BOOK IN THIER FACE UNTIL THEY READ IT, also because everyone else is probably doing the same too ahahah 😛

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I have a few friends that I rec things to, but only if I feel it’s they’re their style??? I have one friend who literally has the same taste as me so I’ll just shove everything at her. XD Umm, I’m going to run away after I say this, but *whispers* I kind of don’t like cake. *runs away* DON’T KILL ME. Most of the cake I eat is too sweet and too much and DJFAL;SDJFAL;SD. But!!! Chocolate cake is very yummy and so is cheesecake and so is ice cream cake. I don’t like any other cake tho. *hides* I’M SORRY. I’LL STILL EAT IT. IT’S SWEET.

    And omg my search history is messed up. (I also search up too many gifs but BAH no one cares.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OKAY JUST GIVE ME A MOMENT TO GET OVER THIS. WHOAAAAA I DONT THINK THAT I CAN. MOVING ON. . .

      Yeah, I have the same with my friend, she’s into contemporary, so I just rec her all the contemporaries that I read and enjoyed before fantasy took over my soul.

      honestly, “knives” on my search history and “welcome to the darkness gif” ARE PROBS NOT THE BEST.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. oh my god I’m crying, these are all such helpful tips, they basically changed my life. :’)

    I try to “gently persuade” my non-reading friends to actually READ FOR ONCE (*cough* six of crows *cough*) but now I think I’m going to have to resort to more unseemly methods. I mean, threatening with knives probably alWAYS works. like, what? you don’t carry knives in your jean pockets?? what is this “jail” that you speak of?? …oh.

    also HUGGING PROBABLY WORKS TOO. shower them with hugs until they KEEL OVER. (I am started to get concerned about my mental well-being)

    though personally, bribing with sweets (esp boba) always works on me 😉

    Like

    1. YOU’VE NOW BEEN BLESSED WITH ALL THESE METHODS THOUGH. hahah.

      Gently persuading NEVER works, I swear. I have only the one friend that reads what I tell her to, and she loves them all so she keeps reading ham ahahah. THE REST OF THEM DONT READ. *brings out knives*

      HUGGING ALWAYS WORKS. If not, no harm done bc HUGS are brilliant.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. yes, thank you for blessing me, you sweet child

        “gentle persuasion” = aggressively shoving said book into friend’s face and yelling at them to read it :’)

        AND YES HUGS SHOULD ALWAYS WORK. although I am possibly the most awkward hugger in the history of huggers.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I really wanted my friend to read A Monster Calls so I bought it for her birthday SO SHE HAD TO READ IT. Next year, It’s Harry Potter CUS SHE NEED TO GET ON THOSE BOOKS. ahem. Buying books = forcing them to read it. I am so nice 🙂 🙂

    AND YES TALKING ABOUT BOOKS WORKS! LIke COUGH COUGH This Savage Song. SO YOU BETTER READ ELIZA AND HER MONSTERS!! Just kidding, (*secretly threatens with knives*) NOTHING GOING ON HERE.

    I am…HUGGING? Okay so this is NEW TO ME. Like I was back at school and my friend went in for a hug and I AM SO BAD AT PEOPLE-ING so I didn’t know what she was trying to do, like I thought she was going to attack me, so i shrugged her off and she managed to do this awkward side hug. HI

    I got my friend to read this really nice book once (can’t remember which one #goldfishmoments) by jumping up and down and looking at her with REALLY EXPECTANT EYES LIKE ‘you must must must read it’ and then she just hesitantly took it and looked t me wierdly. 😀 😀 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good idea OMG I HAVEN’T FINISHED Harry Potter YET….

      OMG YES IT SO WORKED FOR TSS. omg I knowwwww imma have to ask for it for my birthday because there’s no way I’m able to buy anymore books atm.

      omg I can’t people either so I distract everyone from this by HUGGING THEM A LOT.

      BASICALLY ME. I thrust fangirl upon my friend, literally shoving it at her, when she said that she’d not read it yet. Turns out, she loves it and its her favourite book yet. *tips hat* you’re welcome, my friend. I’m pretty sure shes turning to the dark side (bookwormism) but shush we must not speak too soon!!

      Like

        1. I’m sorrrryyyyy ilsa pls pls pls. OKAY I HAVE THEM, and I need to start Order of the Phoenix.

          I knowww I don’t want to run out of things to sayyyyyyy too!! URHGSJ this is why I stay home and read.

          YEAHHHHHHHHHH SUCH GOALS I COULDN’T BELIVE ITTTT and shes not a fast reader, but she read it in a few days bc she loved it somuchhhh

          Like

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