Oh Look, I Have’t Discussed This In A While: My Writing // Slump // Whatever This Is.

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^^^ MOOD.3 Bouquet

ALSO before I start ranting, can we just have a mini cheer for the fact that I got to my Goodreads target??? Last year I only manages 36 books, and I’ve just gone and smashed 40 which is like loads for me!

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As you may, or may not know, a while a go — okay not even that long ago — I wrote a pretty ranty And post about my Writing Struggles™ (which you can check out here if you want #bad at self promo) and LOOK HERE IS PART 2.

3 Bouquet

I’m feeling a bit like a trodden-on-potato at the moment, if I’m honest.

Things have been going on at school, and as well as having to prepare for my exams, I’ve lost my friends. No, I know where they are, we’re just not friends any more. It’s a long, and tearful story, and multiple people have told me to not think of them, and cut them out of my life, and that they don’t “deserve” me, but I just don’t know what I did. People tell me that I did nothing, but I must’ve, and I can barely think about anything else.

What also makes me sad is that as much as people say that I should cut them out of my life, they aren’t the ones with anxiety thinking over who they’re gonna sit with at lunch, what people think of them (I’m sure they do that too though). They aren’t the one who has lost their friends. Again. It’s happened before, and a part of this all just makes me feel like I’m not able to be a good enough friend for people to want to be friends with me for very long.

And I’ve lost all motivation to do anything, including revising for the 17 exams coming up in the next 2 weeks.

I know, priorities. Exams, not friendships are my priorities. 

But I can’t just ignore the situation like they’re ignoring me. Because then later, I’ll have to deal with it. And I’m scared that if I don’t keep trying to fix it, then I’ll never be able to fix it. But at the same time I’m scared that trying to fix it will just push them away further. But then should I really be trying to fix it with people who aren’t trying to fix it with me? 

And I’m scared about what they’ve told people, and that I seem like a bad person to others, I’m scared they’re talking behind my back.

This is kind of a sad topic and I kind of want to delete it.

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In the previous post’s comments, a lot of people suggested that I try and write some poetry. Annnnnd. I started writing some the other day. Like a week ago??? IDK IT’S NOT BEEN THAT LONG. 

I’m. . . sharing some of them??????

WHICH TERRIFIES ME OKAY? 

So. . . Um. . . here we. . . go? *RUNS AWAY RUNS AWAY RUNS AWAY*

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SO YEP THAT’S IT.

*Runs away some more*

M O V I N G  O N.

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So I am in a reading, writing, posting, revising slump.

To be honest, I know why I’m not posting that much. Every time that I post, I feel guilty. Guilty that I should be spending all my time studying, even though I know that everyone needs a break from studying.

BUT I’M NOT EVEN STUDYING THAT MUCH TO RQUIRE A BREAK.

I’m not reading loads (SHE SAYS, AFTER READING A BOOK A DAY FOR THE PAST TWO DAYS), because again, I feel like I should be studying. AND

I’M PUTTING OFF THE RAVEN KING BECAUSE IT CANNOT END. HE CANNOT DIE. IM NOT EMOTIONALLY READY.

The writing slump. . . who the flamingo knows???

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me running from my problems like. . .

And the revising slump. . . I’VE JUST LOST ALL MOTIVATION. I have so man subjects to revise for, and the only one that I’m mildly interested in revising is History, and only because I know that I have 7 books of content to get through before the exam AND THAT IS STRESSING ME OUT.

Whoops. Did I mention that these are MOCK exams?????? “SO WHY ARE YOU STRESSING???” I hear you all call.

Answer:

I D K. 

I jfhbsjjglsdnsdjgasdjvkfvndgr.

As I said before. I’m a trodden on potato.

chat with me

Can someone please shed some kind of light on some of this stuff? What did you honestly think of my attempt at poetry? What do you think I could do to be more motivated? can someone just yell at me to go and study? Can someone just study for me? How do you study, ie flashcards, mind-maps? Let me know! Please. 

Luuuuuuuuuuu

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31 thoughts on “Oh Look, I Have’t Discussed This In A While: My Writing // Slump // Whatever This Is.”

  1. OH MY GOD. LU. YOUR POEMS. THEY’RE BEAUTIFUL. They’re exactly the type of poems I love to read & write, especially that last one about “I love you”. Absolutely BEAUTIFUL. 😍😍 I hope you continue to write & share them, because they’re amazing!!

    And I’m so sorry about the friend situation. I don’t know what I can say to make it all better, but I am 100% sure that it will all end up all right, okay? Just keep going, and if you ever need us, we’re here. 💖 Hope you can get out of that slump, it seems so horrible!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OMG THANK YOU. I CAN’T TAKE COMPLIMENTS SO ILL JUST RUN AWAY NOW. thank you so much May you’re so sweet!! ❤ ❤

      Thank you so much Mayyyyyy ❤ ❤ I seem to be thinking less about the situation now, but like, still bummed. thank you so much for the support ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so, so sorry this happened to you lovely. Losing friends is always hard and it has happened to me many times. It’s funny, but I do think that life has a way of working itself out, and the people that are letting you go for some reason -they don’t deserve your love anyway- are going for a reason, and for new friends, better friendship that will fulfill your life in a whole new way, to come. I’m sending you all the love and I hope everything will work out for the best for you! ❤ In the meantime – what am I even saying, ALL THE TIME – I'm here for you! ❤ ❤
    Your poetry is SO AMAZING??? I don't read a lot of poetry so I don't know whether or not I'm actually good to judge it, but… I really loved your words here ❤
    To study….hm, to be honest, I did little flashcards everytime I studied to help me learn things better, also.. REWARD yourself. Study for an hour and then tell yourself you can read, blog, watch a tv show or something. This also works well aha 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Marie, you’re so sweet!! Thank you so much for your support, you’re so wonderful ❤ ❤

      AWWW thank you, again, Marieeeeee!!!!!! That’s so lovely to hear because I was so nervous about posting them!!
      Omg yes I need to be rewarding myself more as I literally revise for about4 hours and then take a break and I’m EXHAUSTED and feel that my life is just revision now! thank you so much for your tips!! ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 4 HOURS before a break??? You are crazy ahah, you need to relax each and every hour in order for things to be learned better, also, you deserve to relax a bit more!! You are awesome, you can do this!! ❤ ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Lu, your poetry is so beautiful! It actually made me cry!

    That’s so sad about your friends. I can only imagine how hard that must be, and I hope it sorts itself out somehow. I’m sending you lots of love and support!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ahh your poetry is so good! I’m sorry that you’ve fallen out with your friends Lu, I know how it feels. I know it sucks and I’ll be hard to move on but I’d suggest taking some time to relax and have some ‘me’ time and try not to think about it too much (sorryy I suck at advice!).
    My notes I generally spend agesss making them look super pretty and then that ends up making me feel super motivated to make even more notes. Plus getting new stationary and supplies always helps 😉 xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lu your poetry is amazing! 😀 I’m not really a big poetry reader but I loved reading yours, and I hope you’ll share more with us in the future because I’d really enjoy reading yours. Still I know how scary it is sharing writing out in the blogging world so I think it’s just great in general that you posted these. 🙂 ❤
    I really hope the situation with your friends works out in the end, my sister recently went through something like that and lost her friends. It's not easy but in the end you end up with a solution that makes you happy. 🙂 And although I don't know you in real life if you in blogging is anything similar then I can say you're a brilliant friend Lu.
    Congrats on reaching your GR goal, it's a great achievement and given there's still a little bit left of this year to go do you think you'll manage to exceed it?
    Again amazing poetry, and I hope everything feels better for you soon; friend-wise, exam-wise and slump-wise. 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Beth, you’re so wonderful!! Oh my yes sharing the poetry was so scary!

      I’m just super anxious today as it’s the first time I’ll be seeing them (since they went on a trip for 5 days with school) and I’m just really scared of what’s going to happen.

      Thanks so much Beth 😊♥️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s all right! 😀 I found that with sharing my writing, but I’ve also found now I’ve shared that first post it’ll be easier to publish the second.
        Ohh, I’ll keep my fingers crossed everything goes well for you when it comes to seeing them again. Given how long you’ve posted this comment I’m assuming you have seen them again in which case I’ll say I hope you’re doing well, and are less anxious, now you’ve seen them again.
        That’s all right! 😀 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  6. What are you talking about? Your poetry is BEAUTIFUL! 😃
    You won’t like what I do for exams. 😆 I review/skim the subjects that I’m good at (the only one is LA though, cause I’m a writer) and then study harder for the stuff I’m not so great at… but those have never really existed. So that leaves the ones where I freak out and go on a study rampage. Last year I reread the entire science textbook. (I’M REALLY BAD AT SCIENCE OKAY THE EXAMS TERRIFY ME) But maybe try studying in like sprints or something. Study for 10 minutes, take a break for 5. Or maybe study for 15 or 20 minutes. Whatever helps you. 😃 (It really helps, cause then when you want to get distracted, you’re like ‘oh come on, 10 minutes of studying is nothing’) Listening to music is also great! I like listening to wordless music that isn’t boring.
    If you need a friend, just shoot me an email or something through my contact page on my blog. I’ve been told I’m a great listener and adviser, and I’m loyal to friends. 😃

    Liked by 1 person

    1. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

      SCIENCE EXAMS ARE SO SCARY I HATE THEM!! That’s a great idea!! Since publishing this post it’s really motivated me to study and I;ve just been sitting for HOURS on end with no breaks (HENCE THE REALLY LATE RESPONSE — SORRY!!) so doing little bursts actually seems like a great idea!!
      Thank you for the tips and the support!!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Ahhh I feel you!! Not with writing, because I don’t (and quite frankly when I’ve tried I’ve just made myself cringe, but yes to your poetry more please), but exams omg me too. Year 11 means mocks and I have TWENTY WHOLE EXAMS after Christmas which means my favourite time of the year is filled by me revising instead of doing Christmas things, which is really sad. Anyway, revision wise I’ve just been trying to do as much as I can whenever I can, I’ve actually done a post on how I revise which you might find useful but then again I don’t revise much at all so it could just be a phantom post of me trying t to motivate myself! If you make your notes all colourful and prettier it helps with the motivation, believe me; I’ve almost finished the notes on my Germany topic and while I know approximately none of the content I am motivated to keep going because I’ve got some rather pretty pastel coloured notes.

    As for the friendship situation, I feel so sorry for you and I know how it feels. If both ends of a friendship aren’t trying, then there’s no point in you trying to fix it because it sounds as though they’re really not worth it. It’ll be hard to let go but there’s bound to be so many people at your school who’ll be wanting to be your friend. You sound lovely, I’d want to be your friend if I could be!!❤️

    Xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. AW Soph!!
      You’re like,, the sweetest!! thank you so much for this comment!!
      I’m in year 11 too, dkbbbkhbb I’m just melting under all these exams. I have 17 now, then after Christmas I have 17 more and ghbdjksfnjhgr I want to cry!!

      OMG YES PRETTY NOTES. My biology notes. . . not to toot my own horn, but they’re so pretty and pastel (the person I sit next to literally chucks beautiful highlighters at me) and yes!! I think that I need to make them pretty in order to want to revise them, THANK YOU!!!

      omg THE GERMANY TOPIC. I. DON’T. CARE. ABOUT. YOU. HITLER. There’s just too much to remember!!

      thank you so much for your advice on the friendship situation, I think that it’s time that we part ways because this has been going on for too long. Awwww Soph, I’d be your friend too ❤

      xxxx

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Luuuu. I understand how you feel perfectly, losing friends is something that’s happened to me so many times- and it’s NOT your fault. It’s always horrible to lose friends, and I know how it feels to not know where to sit at lunch, or who to walk with to classes. And I know everyone says this, but trust me, it WILL get better. You’re slowly gonna hang out with different people and you’ll see that you’re gonna be happier without people who left you. It’ll take time, but it’ll all sort itself out. And I’m always always always here for you to talk to- like really. If you EVER need someone to talk to, I’m right here and I promise I’ll listen.
    And that poetry was BEAUTIFUL. It’s kinda heart breaking and painful to read, but so relatable and I loved it so so so much.
    Don’t stress too much, everything will get better, and all your internet friends ( AND ME) are always here for you. (ESPECIALLY ME)❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  9. LU I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING YOUR POETRY IS SO FREAKING GOOD
    WOW
    I AM IN AWE
    I LOVE THE “I LOVE YOU” POEM AND ALL OF THEM SO GODDAMNED MUCHHHH.

    anyways
    enough of my screaming
    ahem

    IM SORRY YOU FEEL SLUMPY and that you have fallen out with your friends. Honestly, I’m super bad at this stuff but I would just say, take some time for yourself! Recharge your batteries not by moping around but by giving yourself some love like eating cake! reading a book if you can! taking a break from normal every day life if you can. then, hopefully you’ll feel motivated!

    GO STUDY!! WHOO

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OMG ILSA!!!!!
      YOU’RE BREAKING MY HEART
      THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!
      ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!!!!????????

      Like dfjkgdhfbjdg they’re not even good I can’t even gnrgrkgjnrdgnrdkg.

      AWW thank you so much Ilsa!! Are you proud I sat down and read TWO contemporaries!! I will take your advice and eat gallons of cake (bc that is now a measurement for cakes).

      THANK YOU ILSA!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

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