Who’s writing a post for the first time this month?? Who’s having a day off for the first time this month?? Who is sleep deprived?? Who has not read a book??? Who is dramatic??
oh look.. it’s me.
AND, OH MY, HOW I MISS BLOGGING.
(and you guys too i guess… *eye roll to help my pretence*)
So I’m pretty sure that school is draining the life out of me faster than I can recover, I feel like a legitimate zombie and that’s the only explanation for my urge to eat brains and hope it makes me smarter… B/c, of course, I AM NOT STRESSING AT ALL.
I’ve pretty much been studying from 9AM-6PM every weekday?? And then 6 hours each day of the weekend… and you could say that it is catching up with me a little. But it’s chill. It’s chill. IT’S SO NT CHILL IM COLLAPSING.
so, what happened this month?
- So maybe this was last month? I can’t remember? But I saw Love, Simon in the cinema and I’m still in recovery. Did I like it more than the book… yea… sorry not sorry tho. It tore my heart out. Leah was tolerable. I actually didn’t want to punch her throughout the entire movie *raises fists to book-Leah*. Did the ships kill me again though? 3257% yes they did. Hear that huge BOOM? Yeah sorry for that disturbance… that was my heart breaking/exploding/ceasing to exist. It’s chill.
- I’m actually pretty sure that was last month…
- urgh cba to delete that.
- I DONT KNOW WHEN THAT ^^ HAPPENED BUT IT HAPPENED AND I’M HAPPY ABOUT IT.
- I don’t think that anything really happened this month if I’m being honest.
- I’ve just been on the sleep-eat-work-eat-work-eat-sleep routine ft. Lil Stress.
- throw in a mild freak-out bop.
- I make grabby hands at every book that I see.
- This is not okay.
- I am not okay.
- THE WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS ARE TOO STRONGGGGG.
- It’s so chill… I’m basically an ice cube.
- IT’S nOT LIKE EXAMS START IN TWO WEEKS OR ANYTHING I SCREAM.
Oh, look!! I posted… nothing!!
And it was honestly like a huge weight being lifted off of my shoulders. I think that I would be genuinely deceased if I had attempted to blog as well as my current work routine. That would have literally pushed me over the edge.
I’ve said this in prev posts but.. I still really am sorry that I haven’t been checking your guys’ posts out. I feel HORRIBLE that I haven’t because I love this community so so much and I love to give back to you guys and show that I care by supporting you guys like you support me.
I’m just a legitimate mess, bundle of stress, and genuinely hate that I don’t have time to be active on here and show you guys that.
I’ve been trying to show my appreciation by blessing your eyes with my adorable cat on my twitter, but if you haven’t seen her then… here she is:
Can I thank you guys for this^^^??
This is amazing and I just want to say thank you thank you thank you so much, every single one of you, you honestly mean so much to me and ahh I’m a SAP but you guys already knew that.
I just want to hug you all… 😥
So.. because she’s amazing… ilsa has designed me some new blog designs for when I change the name of my blog (thank you again!!). They’re amazing and I cannot wait to share the designs with youuuu.
And when some rando blog called ‘A Storm Of Stardust and Words’ starts screeching on your posts and hyperventilating not-so-quietly in the corner know that it’s me yeah??
I haven’t written anything from my WIPS in MONTHS. And that honestly HURTS, but rn… school is acting like a toddler in a tantrum and demands all my attention atm. Hopefully it will calm down soon. It better.
But!! I did write some poems and yeahh so here they are!!
They’re different than usual, so pls be gentle, but I’d love some constructive criticism if you have any ❤ ❤
I wrote those in the dead of night when i couldn’t sleep so they’re an accumulation of the byproduct of my brain being a mess™ for the billionth time
this month week.
the.. er.. news?
I’m such an awkward person I swear. SO basically. I just want to get this out there. So this month ffbndfklg r.
I basically waltzed out of the closet this month to some of my friends this month, and it was one of the hardest things I’ve done because for so long I’ve had this internalised homophobia and I’ve always thought that it was something to hide, or to get rid of regarding to myself, even though with literally anyone else on the planet I would never have a problem with it, because it’s!! not!! a!! bad!! thing!!
And ever since accepting it to myself, and even telling a few people, I have never felt more me.
Gosh, why is this so hard.
I haven’t told my family. I want to, gosh, I’ve been so close to saying it so many times. But I have no idea how they’d react and.
And. I wanted to be able to say it.
And. I want to be able to scream it to more than three people.
And, I guess I was ready for the world to know but not my family, because while the internet can be a scary open space, the thought of this all going wrong with my family scares the hell out of me a lot more.
So yeah that got dfhgrjgew. So yeah that’s… that.
I have literally no idea what to put here, this is the most awkward end to a post but i’m just going to go with it and pretend shit is fine. sending all you guys all the smily faces and hearts and hugs ❤ ❤ hope that you all had a great monthhhhh, stay amazing