Coming-Out-Series (P1): 4 LGBT+ Things I Want To Be Represented In YA And General LGBT+ Rep Rant Ft. Internalised LGBT+phobia.

[Enters, graciously flailing]

I’ve decided that I’m going to be doing a series of posts about LGBTQIA+ rep now that I have come out as queer on my blog because why the hell not, we need more talk about LGBTQIA+ rep and I WANT TO DO THAT BC I WANT TO HAVE A VOICE OK.

And why not do it RIGHT now when I should be revising okay i actually am on break from revision i just wanted to sound cool?

Wayyyy back when, okay Feb 7 (so not that long ago), I wrote a post about Diversity in YA: Should We Comment If We’re Not Diverse?  where I spoke about well.. whether or not we should comment on diversity/minority representation that we don’t personally belong to?

And bOy, I loved that post’s comments because there was SUCH a discussion BUT.

Not so long ago, I came out as queer (read here*) and idk. It’s just been BUGGING me because I’d said some things in the post that isn’t true concerning my own representation and there’s now this tremendous itch that I cannot get rid of, no matter if I scratch it with a lawnmower or a jaw of a shark because basically in that post I was like “oh I’m not diverse” when… ya… I am.

so this is what I wrote^^^^ it’s basically all a bunch of denial bs. go meeeee.

And I guess this denial(???) is really bugging me. UGRJKG. BECAUSE YES, I DO BELONG TO THE LGBTQIA+ COMMUNITY.

And when I think about the reasons that I said “nahhh I’m not” in the post, and the fact that I’ve tried to bottle it down like it can just “go away” for y e a r s, just makes me angry. SOFRICKINGANGRY.

B/c when I think about it the reason I denied it was because of this thing internalised homophobia/queerphobia(???) and the reason I had that is not because I am homophobic, it’s because I had (and still have) literally no help with accepting this about myself from society, and I live in a society that is still not fully accepting (tho where I live is better than some).

The minorities get drowned out by the sound of the majority and their loud, ignorant comments and it just. It’s not good for anything.

^^^^ by this, what I mean is: no matter how many people tell me it is okay for me to be queer/the label that I don’t know yet, there are always MORE people telling me that “no, it is not okay.”

Even though inside I know it is okay to be LGBTQIA+, there’s this THING telling me that IT’S NOT OKAY FOR YOU THOUGH. And that “THING” is society and jrngjnhkjr.

MORE NEEDS TO BE DONE ABOUT INTERNALISED PHOBIA. I think that it’s ridiculous how little it is spoken about because it is such a HORRIBLE thing and people are so unaware of it unless they experience it themselves, or they think that it’s strange that they can’t just accept themselves even though it is now (wrongly) so easy for people to be trodden down on and made to feel that they should change themselves.

[As you can guess, I’m pretty angry because today at school people were saying a tonne of homophobic shit and thinking that they could get away with it because no one in the room was openly LGBTQIA+ (which is just… WRONG ON ALL LEVELS) and I wanted to say something so bad but I knew that there would be no point because they would not listen no matter what I said.]

So here we are with an LGBTQIA+ REP LIST.

*SHAMELESS SHAMELESS SELF PROMO. 

(I would list more, but we’d be here all day!!)

“healing the gay” trope *burns burns burns* 

Can this be dead like 238 years ago? Cheers.

Like I just. I want this to just not exist because it’s not like being LGBTQIA+ means that there is something wrong with you. It just means that, guess what, you’re LGBTQIA+!!

The only time that I want to read this is when someone is being condemned for saying that they can “get rid of x-character’s “gayness”“ or that they can “turn x-character straight”. 

I literally want to read about how that character burns. Slowly. Like a spit-roast kind of thing, or see them get ejected from a space craft… with no space-suit and get starved of oxygen until their eyes explode or something (can that actually happen???).

Those kinds of characters are so slimy.. and just HOMOPHOBIC.

people learning to overcome internalised lgbtqia+phobia / accept themselves. 

[about to make a point, brings out a chunky binder of FACKTKSKTS and WHACKS it down on the page *please turn to page THREE HUNDRED AND NINETY-FOUR.* **]

I think that this is so important??? SO many young people have this thing in their heads telling that it is not okay for them to be lgbtqia+ even though they are not homophobic!!

And internalised phobia is HARDLY DISCUSSED IN YA?? (if someone has a rec, please gimme!!) And I just ask why??? Like???

It’s such a relevant topic because… 1) it needs to be acknowledged, 2) young adult readers need to know that it is not strange for them to feel that way (for example, I am not from a judging family.. yet I still am going through this in my dfkjg way) 3) they need to know that it is not strange for them to need to come to terms with being lgbtqia+ (event tho.. that is it’s own discussion entirely. .. .) in their own time, not everyone is accepting of themsleves when it comes to all parts of themselves, esp when it comes to sexuality bc of the ingrained beliefs from society and grngrlgnglr anger 4) they need to know that they can talk about it with someone 5) they need to know that they do not need to try and change themselves 6) they need to be able to one day accept themselves for who they are and learn to be comfortable with who they are!! No one should have to feel like they are wrong, or meant to change!!

… And all this would not be able to happen without the rep!! Or just GENERAL LGBTQIA+ REP!!!

** JUST FELT LIKE THROWING IN THAT REFERENCE.

healthy smol relationships. 

You have no idea how much I just want to read a book about two girls/boys/whatever-gender in love with each other and have it  h e a l t h y.

Where there isn’t drama, and there isn’t any pettiness, and where they can have the same relationship dynamics that heterosexual characters would have.

It annoys me to no end how they’re always slightly different and maybe it’s just me seeing this?? but I feel like there’s always some kind of toxicity in the relationship, something ALWAYS COMES UP, and I just sit there reading and thinking “why can’t they be smol and happy????” idk maybe it’s just me imagining this.

(probs not, let’s be honest)

members of the LGBTQIA+ community supporting each other. 

This is literally such a thing in real life. And I just want MORE. I cannot count how many wonderful, heart warming messages of support that I have recieved since coming out (not just from LGBTQIA+) and I just think that it would be great to have more of that in ya books.

There is so much GOODNESS in the community and THIS NEEDS TO BE IN BOOKS MORE.

I think that if I had had a book like that I would have found it easier to come to terms with this because I would have known that I could have spoken about it to someone before.

People need to know that there are people that they can talk to and that can help them!!

NOTE: not only support from LGBTQIA+!!

So that’s it??????? I hope that you enjoyed this post!! What LGBTQIA+ REP do you want?? What recs do you have that have great LGBTQIA+ rep? (Let me know!!) What do you think should be done to help with internalised LGBTQIA+-phobia? Just let me have all the RECSRECSRECSSS!!!!!!