QUICK RANT: Why Romance In YA Can Be Negative To Readers + YA Relationship Pet Peeves.

Not all characters are horny trashcans, and I’m having a rant about that.

I’ve been gone for a while, so why not come back with a huge ol, totally not bitter, rant?

so a  couple of things to settle before we start:

1. we’re over 1/3 of through the month and I have posted 0 things whoops.
2. i hardly posted anything last month???? whoops again?????
3. college started!!
4. I’m not even going to ask where 2018 is vanishing into.

Okay, so I know that I’ve spoken about this topic QUITE A BIT in the past, but after talking with Haayida while ranting over a book that we both have some major issues with we started talking about romances and stuff (eloquent) in YA and how it bugs us. And me, being the idea thief that I am, am turning this into a very ranty, very salty, very call-y-out-y post. 

I’m not completely banning romances from all books forever (yes, I definitely have the power to do so), because I actually really like romances (opens binder that holds pages upon pages of ship-related things) and think that they’re great!! I LIVE FOR THEM.

I actually sit there, staring at the ceiling, analysing EVERY SHIP INTERACTION because I ship them so. hard. that I would 14/10 just read the most trashy, pure fluff/boring content just to be allowed to read more about a ship and just imagine the ship in my head buying groceries and having Banter™. I AM TRASH FOR MY SHIPS.

But of course, being who I am, I have to ruin EVERYTHING and nit-pick and pick pick pick and rant rant rant until my point is made.

sex

Literally, everyone’s having it, in books at least. I don’t know about you, but reading books about people my age having sex constantly just really irks me.

While i think that it’s good for people to have healthy sex lives and make sex this thing that isn’t “OMG YOU HAD SEX YOU’RE GOING TO DIE”, I think that idk… while I like that there’s no shame (and there shouldn’t be!!) I think that sometimes a lot of the time it puts across this expectation to readers that they have to have sex too, and people receiving this message can be young and impressionable.

And it’s totally unrealistic??? Because my friends that are 16/17 aren’t having sex?? people in my year aren’t having sex??? like??? not all teens do, while most characters in books are 16/17 and having sex??? like literally most of them??? idk!! it’s just weird because it’s like??? no??

But I just don’t like how sex becomes this “step” for a relationship in order for their relationship to be “valid” and “genuine” and putting that across to readers? Who could actually be very young?? No thank you?

Relationships shouldn’t be measured by “how far” you’ve gone, whether or not you’ve had sex, or whether or not your relationship is “alright” or not depending on how frequently you do something remotely sexual with your bf/gf.

other ranty thoughts on this topic:

• Ace people????? like???? hello, they exist too, you know?
• Sex should not be pushed as an expectation in every relationship!
• And also: sometimes it’s just unnecessary to the plot?! So it’s not really actually NEEDED?!
• But also people who aren’t ace may not want to be having sex THE SECOND THEY GET IN A RELATIONSHIP.
• And also: religion: some don’t believe in sex before marriage!! And characters who believe in that should be allowed to stay true to their beliefs!! (I’d actually love to read a book about where the mc talks about sexuality x religion because I loveeeeee books like that!!)
• I really want to see a character not want to have sex straight away and not be called things like “prude” or “frigid” or horrible things like that because does it matter when/if they have sex? no!
• can we have some healthy conversations about it pleasE!!!!!!!!!!!???????
• DHBGRBGRGB. this has just been bugging me a lot in books lately.

over-dependancy

Relationships can be super TOXIC, they can become literally all about the romance, and nothing else happens: where they brush off their friends to be with the bf/gf in a way, they don’t listen to other characters apart from their bf/gf, they argue, etc and that’s totally not healthy.

And I find that a lot of books don’t have a good balance of relationship stuff x actual plot. The plot just flies out the window. I’m definitely not thinking about Sarah J Maas books here why would I do that.

Sometimes start acting like one being and really… that shouldn’t be put across to people because you need to be your own personnnnnnnnnnnnnn in a relationship for it to be healthy,,, you know???

ANYWAY, there is a line between healthy communication yet being independent in a relationship, and then when a relationship becomes toxic and intrusive and consuming.

plain cheesy

this is bad because it straight up just makes me feel uncomfortable to read. I want to physically and mentally hurl into a swamp every time that i read something cheesy. I hate normal cheese, let alone the literary type.

It’s so URGHHHHH let me HURL.

It’s just URBSJSKSKS.

This is bad for readers because honestly?? who wants to throw up while reading??

• personally, I do not.

I literally squirm in my seat while I read this its,. not good.

THINGS THAT GO HAND IN HAND:

1. instalove.
2. love triangles.
3. any genuine affection displayed between two people on any level.
4. literally them just looking at each other, like actual heart eyes across the room.
5. ugh romance.

SORRY, I JUST CAN’T WITH THIS.

I’m just going to end this there because it’s basically becoming an incoherent RANT (when don’t they tho) and I think you get the point! What do you look for in relationships in YA books? Do you agree with what I’ve said in the post? What do you think? Let me know!