Year Wrap Up {1}: Top Ten Books That Tore Out My Dysfunctional Heart In 2018 (I’m Not Crying You Are) + My Year Long Slump.

2018 was the year of rereads for me. 

I really don’t think that I would have got anywhere near my target (that I still haven’t met) if it weren’t for the rereads. I had to stop counting rereads as ‘reads’ because I felt guilty. 

I dunno, this year was a really strange reading year for me. Sometimes books would tear me apart, and other times I’d be in this HUGE slump (that’s basically lasted all year) and I felt nada. 

So it’s no surprise that it’s already December 29th and I still haven’t met my goodreads target (by one tho!!) *shrug*

I repeat, YEAR. LONG. SLUMP.

*Shrugs again* 

I’m not bitter. pfttt. who’s bitter? I don’t know them. 

future me: i just realised that all but two of these books are GAY AF. 

1.Dear Martin.

This was my first read of the year and BOY OH BOY, this tore out my heart. I think that I read it in one sitting and I remember just wanting to read it over and over again. This, like THUG, is such a poignant novel and I SUPER DUPER recommend it to everyone. 

It was just absolutely gripping and I don’t think that I could NOT include it on this list. 


2. Autoboyography.

WHAT A READ. I sobbed like a baby throughout this book, read it in an afternoon, and then started reading it again. This book. I seriously cannot even describe how MUCH this book means to me. 

I just adore this book. 

You can see my review here, where I go into MASSES of detail about the importance of this book. And, you can read more about the importance of this book here where I talk about internalised homophobia as part of my ‘coming out series’.  


Ok moving on because I would happily talk about this book forever. 


5. Obsidio.

NIK!!!!! Just all the ships??? So good. 

this was SUCH  a good end to the trilogy. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time and it was so SATISFYING too. Obviously, I’M BUMMED TO LEAVE THIS TRILOGY, it was so unique and JUST UTTERLY BRILLIANT. 

I don’t know how I’m going to cope without a next one next year!!! 


I had no idea what I was in for when I started reading this trilogy. It started out like: whooaaaaa obscureness!! weird made-up sport!! and ended: heartbreaking!! and me BEGGING for more!!

It ended up being one of the best books that I’ve read that talks about rape,  consent, depression, and LGBTQIA. The main character is DEMISEXUAL and I, so far, have only found one other book that had a demisexual character and it was just so refreshing to see. 

also, there’s some japanese mafia in there too. 

this whole trilogy was basically a god-send. especially because I read it at a super stressful time and this book let me ESCAPE so much and I just cared so much about this book from the moment I started it.

7. A Gathering of Shadows.

So while it took me a literal EON to read this, I adored it. I literally read (liek I do with all V.E.Schwab books) the first 50 or so pages, put it down for a few months, and then went back to it. 11/10 do not recommend.

It was just amazing, ok? I WISH that I’d read this sooner. This book BLEW. ME. AWAY. literally. I was so surprised by how much the magic system did NOT tire me??? like??? I’m so worried about that in fantasy? that I’ll just get sick of it and start hating it? BUT THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN IT WAS AMAZING SO WE’RE ALL GOOD.

Rhy… one of the best bisexuals in fantasy YA BY F-ING FAR. 

I just love the diversity in these books too.


8. A Thousand Perfect Notes.

Amazing! Heart-wrenching! Destroying! Sob-inducing! Unique! EVERYTHING!! ADORABLE LITTLE SISTERS THAT ARE FOOD MONSTERS (IE ME!)

This book basically ripped out my heart and smushed it all back together again. Now it’s just a blob that cannot function. Yes, I am deceased. THIS IS WHAT CAIT DOES TO US! It’s not fair!! But I love it.

Honestly from the minute I heard about this book, I WANTED IT. And did it reach my expectations? NO, IT BLEW THEM OUT OF THE WATER AND SET THEM ON FIRE.

In all seriousness, this book has an amazing message that food monsters need to be fed constantly to be placated about abuse and GUYS IT’S JUST SO EMOTIONAL, OK?

9. The Gentleman’s Guide To Vice And Virtue. 

What another heart-smasher.

This was an emotional and geographical whirlwind. This was fun, fast and fabulous (how percy would undoubtedly describe himself) and I loved every minute of it.

I’ve only read one other historical fiction?? and I don’t know how any others will live up to this one?? I’m doomed, essentially.

All the heartwarming bi+gay rep. just. yes.

10. They Both Die At The End.


ABSOLUTELY. I think that it was heartbreaking and cute and just an overall soul-destroyer to be honest.

I thought that it had some amazing light-hearted fluffy moments too but I felt that (because it was set over one day) it was a teeny bit insta-love? perchance?

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honourable mentions: 

Wildcard — this was an AMAZING read but when I think about it? the others just DESTROYED ME MORE??? but I super enjoyed this one and I will ALWAYS love this world and I’m SO SO SO sad that there will be no more books because I LOVE IT SM. ALSO, THERE’S A ‘THEY’ CHARACTER THAT MADE MY DAY.


What are your favourite reads of the year? any on this list? have you read any of these? what are some of the books that you were LET DOWN BY this year? TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS!

31 thoughts on “Year Wrap Up {1}: Top Ten Books That Tore Out My Dysfunctional Heart In 2018 (I’m Not Crying You Are) + My Year Long Slump.”

  1. I FINALLY got my hands on a copy of Carry On last month and I’m SO READY to read it. Unfortunately I’ll have to wait.. a couple of months or something. At least. But.. hey, at least I already have a copy? That’s one step closer to actually reading it!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Uuuh because I moved two weeks ago, and had to pack up my books and now.. there’s remodeling done in our house so I can’t unpack my books until that’s done AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT BOX IT’S IN ANYWAY.

        [not to mention I’m due in a month so when the baby’s here I won’t have any time to read? probably?]


        Liked by 1 person

  2. I really hope your slump ends soon Lu (if it hasn’t ended already that is). I was feeling really slumpy for the last two months of the year and honestly it sucked, so I can’t even imagine how you’ve dealt with a year long slump. 😦
    Still you’ve got some incredible books on your list; Carry On is an all-time favourite of mine, and I read Autoboyography, Obsidio and The Foxhole Court this year and loved all three (and all three are favourites of mine from 2018 as well).
    I’m going to be honest, I actually felt a little let down by Wildcard. It was a good book I just think after Warcross I expected something more from the sequel. I dunno, either way I’m still excited for Marie Lu’s next book, whatever it may be.
    Great post, and happy reading for 2019. 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you so much!!
      CARRY ON!! OMG Just mentioning it makes me want to read it all over again. Yesss Wildcard was good, but i feel like it wasn’t AS good as Warcross!
      thanks! & happy reading to you too! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. LU I’M SO HAPPY YOU LOVED CARRY ON BECAUSE IT’S ONE OF MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITES I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH IT’S JUST EVERYTHING 😭 Excuse me while I go cry in a corner because Wayward Son is TOO FAR AWAY. Though then again for the longest time I thought we’d never get a sequel so maybe I shouldn’t complain haha. I hope your slump is over and that 2019 will be amazing, both when it comes to books and just in general ❤️


    1. JUST READING THE WORDS ‘CARRY ON’ MAKE ME WANT TO REREAD IT ALL OVER AGAIN. WAYWARD SON NEEDS TO BE HERE NOW!!!!!! Yeah ahah AT LEAST THERE IS ONE NOW. I’m so freaking glad. THANK YOU!!! I hope that you have an amazing 2019 too ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh my gosh I must read Gentleman’s Guide!! And A Thousand Perfect Notes!! And Autoboyography… basically I’m a terrible reader! BUT CARRY ON AND AGOS ARE JUST AMAZING!!!! Hope your year is great and you read all the books!!


  5. FOXHOLE COURT FOXHOLE COURT FOXHOLE COURT FOXHOLE COURT ok I’ll stop now. But that’s the mood for 2018. Neil Josten, the actual light of my life, the biggest idiot that has ever walked the fictional Earth HAS BEEN SUCH A BLESSING. My reading year would have been a total fail without him AND the other idiot Andrew Minyard. What murderous disasters they both are.

    I still haven’t read most of these wonderful amazing books on your list AND I CAN’T EVEN WITH MYSELF. I just got Gentleman’s Guide in the mail so that’s an improvement?? I neeeeeed to get to it like now.

    In other order of ideas CAIT’S BOOK AJJSKLLEKKSKIE!!!!!! It was SO GOOD!!!! I need many more!!! I’m so excited for her 2019 release!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. dont ATTACK NEIL HE’S FRAGILE OK? honestly I don’t know what I would have done this year without him, either.
      I HOPE THAT YOU ENJOT GENT’S GUIDE!! IT WAS… words. fail. me.



  6. Aw it’s too bad you were stuck in a year long slump. But it’s 2019 now so that’s definitely going to change!! Autoboyography is definitely one of my favorites as well. That book made me cry too. It’s so intense and important and I’m just really glad it exists. I also love Carry On but I first read it a few years ago and haven’t gotten around to rereading it yet. Wow okay, I’m just in love with so many of the books you mentioned! The Gentleman’s Guide To Vice And Virtue, Obsidio, A Gathering of Shadows…THEY ARE ALL FANTASTIC BOOKS. I adore them. I think my top 3 (and this keeps changing because I’m indecisive but) are probably What If It’s Us, Autoboyography and Vengeful. And Darius the Great Is Not Okay is also REALLY good.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OMG YOU’VE READ AUTOBOYOGRAPHY??? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry,, just like,,, hardly anyone else has???? lol i know the stuggles of being insecisive too dw!!
      ohhhhh i haven’t heard of the last one, I’ll have to check it out!!!! omg i JUST GOT VENGEFUL!! I hope that I like it as much as you did!! I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE A GREAT YEAR!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha yeah I know what you mean. I haven’t heard it mentioned a lot (but to be fair, I also disappear from the blogosphere for months at a time!). And thanks!! Hope you have a fantastic year too! ❤ (AND READ VENGEFUL YAY)


  7. Carry On!! And Opal!! And Gentleman’s Guide!! How do you have so many of my favorite books on your list?? That sucks that you were in a reading slump for so much of the year, but at least you were able to find some amazing books nonetheless!!
    (And I too realized that all but one of my top books of the year are hella gay 😅 8 out of the ten are about queer women…which I’m pleased with.)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. OH GOD I LOVE YOUR POSTS SO MUCH!!! i really want to read carry on (you sold me with British humour tbh) and wayward son is actually coming out in late 2019, i think?! i forgot all about autoboyography, still need to read that OOPS and the foxhole court is something i will definitely read in 2019. and lol, i still need to read opal. I GOT THE EBOOK and then proceeded to never read it. but i’m going to finish my re-read of the series (i’ve been re-reading all of them and just finished bllb. I SCREAM. gansey. also, i love the dream thieves 400 times more now. Ronan is everything) I love this post so much!! I love your energy. And ATPN was so good, I need the boy who steals houses??!!

    Liked by 1 person

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