Mini-haul-thingy-bob / what the actual hell is this?

Hi.

So from the amazingly worded title that is really sophisticated and put-together, you can probably tell that I bought more books. Though, let’s be honest: when will I not? But I don’t want it to just be about me buying books. I want to talk about one book that I got in particular since I’ve already had a bit of a read.

I was a rebellious child and bought books on valentines day (yesterday). Well I was allowed to by my mother because I reminded her of how utterly alone I am and how every single boy on the planet that I know seems to be a jerk (look at me and all this hip American slang!)

Anyway. So total impulse buy: One Memory of Flora Banks. This one seems so emotional and I have no idea when I am going to get around to read it since I have a whole SHELF of unread books that only seems to grow! But yes, this book was recommended to me by several people, and I trust their opinion of it, so I thought, “why the hell not?”

But the second book that I bought, which lead to my buying Flora Banks, was Milk and Honey. I’m reading this book with my Instagram group, and have really wanted to read it for a while. So, being the rebellious person I am (not really) I started reading the poems and they hit me so hard and had such an impact I had to stop reading them.

I seriously don’t know if I’ll be able to finish the first section (called “the hurting”) or not. I may have to jump to the next section called “The Loving” and then come back to “The Hurting” in drips and drabs.

I really don’t know how the poems effected me that much, after just having read them. And I know that poetry is supposed to make you feel something, but I really hope that it doesn’t make me feel too much.

There was one that especially got to me, because despite it being simple, it got to me, and I found it really beautiful.

“trying to convince myself

i am allowed

to take up space

is like writing with

my left hand

when i was born

to use my right

– the idea of shrinking is hereditary ”

Page 29.

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But I just think that with a combination of my “meh” mood, being tired from the dramatics of the other night, and thinking about everything, it just hit me when I wasn’t expecting it to.

anyways,

as always,

lu x