Bibliophile Issues: The Stages Of A Slump!

Hiiiiiiiiiiii guyyyysssss,

So. You know those dreaded times when you have this amazing book in your possession, and you really want to read it, and no matter how much free time you have, you keep putting it off? And when you sit down to read, you just can’t stay focussed and you just go to think about why monkeys are known for eating bananas not passion fruits, or something stupid like that?

What I’m talking about is The Dreaded SLUMP.

I didn’t think this day would come for a long time, and now. . .

So I’m going to be talking about the stages of a slump. I did a post about the opposite of this (which you can find here) so, as I’m in a sort of slump, I thought it’ be worth it.

STAGE ONE: URG, I JUST CANT READ ANYTHING!!

In this stage the reader will feel frustrated, and want to read, but finds oneself unable to focus or understand the text. The reader may feel like this for a number of hours or days, depending on the situation and severity.

STAGE TWO: ACKNOWLEDGING THE ISSUE.

At this point in time the reader will realise the problem. The reader may feel some anger towards oneself at getting in the current situation and wish for it to end. The reader will feel empty, and not know what to do with themselves at this specific stage.

STAGE THREE: HATING THE SLUMP!

After acknowledging the slump in all it’s horrid-ness, the reader may have feelings of intense rage and/ or loathing. This stage will occur days/ hours/ moments/seconds after acknowledging the issue.

STAGE FOUR: DENIAL.

The reader will be so desperate to read they will convince themselves that they’re not in THE Dreaded Slump and attempt to read in which they will only make themselves in more of a slump and have more feelings of sadness and emptiness.

STAGE FIVE: ACCEPTANCE.

Despite hating this, the reader will accept that they’re in a slump and momentarily stop fighting the fact that they’re in a slump.

STAGE SIX: FIGHTING BACK!

The reader will be agitated and book deprived. They will be desperate and their attempt at reading will be futile. The reader, after fighting back, will feel distraught as only few have success in vanquishing the slump at this stage.

STAGE SEVEN: UNKNOWN.

The slump may end the next day, the day after that, a week later, a month, months later, YEARS. . . The slump may end at it’s own accord, or perhaps the reader will engage themselves in dribs and drabs of reading here and there to slowly wean themselves out of a slump.

ADDITIONAL NOTES:

The slump is a force that comes at it’s own accord, and leaves when the reader lest expects. The slump comes in many forces, strong, medium, and weak. Those in a strong slump can expect severe reading deprivation, where those in a weak slump may find themselves briefly lacking the enthusiasm to read but may recover within a matter of days (under a weak).

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So I hope you liked this comedic little post (well, I hope it way funny), and let me know if you experience anything like this when you’re in a slump!

Happy Christmas EVE!!

Lu x